Define “strong people“.
Is it because a person is perceived as strong that people think they cannot be bullied? Last time I checked, strong is not a synonym of invincible.
Disclaimer: I will unfortunately not be able to write about the specifics of the events because it will be too easy to identify who the bullies were. But I hope the essence of what I will share next will help people open up about their own experience of being bullied, no matter what.
Words are powerful! Let’s use them to create more good.
A lot of the people who cross my path tend to identify me as a strong person. Well, what I can say is that I had a strong personality since I was a child. But that didn’t prevent me from getting bullied several times from childhood to adulthood.
When this particular bulling story happened, I was already an adult. A small group of individuals sharing a common interest happened to target me as the undesired member of the group (yes, I was part of the group too). Picture this: I would be getting phone calls during which I would be shouted at and be given orders, be targetted in meetings for being the one with stupid ideas (by stupid they meant creative. of course. hah. WORSE! I may be the type who’s too honest during meetings.), I was contacted on all social media platform when I wouldn’t reply as quickly as they wanted to, be called from the other end of the building and be directed to “come here” with a very arrogant stand and a hand gesture that made me feel like he was calling his dog, and the list goes on…
I was bullied and reported it to the head of the institution I belonged to at the time. Instead of helping me, they blamed me. Saying that I provoked the bullies. One of the heads even narrated to me her daughter’s bullying stories when she was just an adolescent. WOW! Dismissing my pain and made it all about you helped me a lot. Thank you very much.
As much as I studied psychology and I understand that it may have been a traumatic event for her to have experienced her daughter being bullied and may not be properly equipped to handle this situation, I was the one needing help at that moment. I also spoke to two heads at that particular moment, not just one! Instead of reassuring me, they made me feel even more lonely and vulnerable to attacks. My stress level got so high at one point that my body shut down and I even had to be transported to the hospital.
It took me a while to write about it even though I meant to do it a long time ago. My main reasons? I wasn’t sure if speaking about it publicly would do any good. Also, some of the people who knew about it and just stood by with pity in their eyes or simply ignoring me are still on my friend list on Facebook. Also, my bullies had their friends add me on the latter and took screenshots of all my posts to send them. (And I was the one without a life…? huh!)
Revisiting all these memories with more detachment now feels refreshing but it is still a very taxing process. But I’m glad to know that I’ve healed a lot, even if not completely.
Moral of the story: strong people aren’t invincible. They can be victimes of bullying too. They may be able to bounce back one day, but it doesn’t mean that they do not need helping hands during difficult times.
Did my blog post trigger something in you and you want to talk about it? I would like to offer my listening ears. Inbox me and I will read it all and reply as soon as I can.
We heal when we speak out our pain and suffering.