Our body is our best friend, not our enemy.

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How many times have we neglected our body?  How many times did we fail to take care of our body due to a lack of will to invest in ourselves?

But, how many times did we run to a friend or a close one who was sick and got annoyed at them because they don’t take care of themselves enough?

We keep procrastinating to heal as if we weren’t important to ourselves.  But this body that we have is this vehicle in which we are constantly living in.  So why are we not taking care of the space that we are occupying?

Why do we fight or ignore our body?  Those are what we usually do to our enemies.  Is our body our enemy?  We wouldn’t be alive if it were.  So, let’s care of our body as we would care for our best friend.

Let’s nourish it, keep it clean, value it and work hard to keep it healthy.  Our body is our best friend, not our enemy.

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Get Out Of Your Head!!!

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Overthinking…

                               Anxiety…

                                                  Panic stricken…

                                                                                  Sick…

                                                                                               Paralysed…

How many times have we found ourselves in these situations because we couldn’t stop our own thoughts from overwhelming us?

…and let’s be honest, those aren’t happy thoughts!

Internalised criticism…  Why do we beat ourselves down but encourage others to be the best versions of themselves?

Sometimes the best encouragers are the worst self-critics.  We never feel good enough.  Nothing is ever satisfactory.  Or our overthinking ruins pretty much every good moment.  Feeling happy?  Oh shit!  Something bad might happen next and steal it all away!

Why do we keep stealing the good in our moments and choose to amplify the bad when we could do so with the good?

Truth is, life is a roller-coaster.  We will all experience all kinds of emotions, good, neutral and bad.  But what we can choose to do is to just experience the emotions as they are in the moment and don’t dwell on what we may feel next.

Get out of your head!!!  It can be a bad place sometimes.  Just live each moment as an observer, but kick yourself out of your head when it’s becoming a nasty place in there.  If you are your worst critic, there’s a huge likelihood that your self-judgement is pretty inaccurate.  You are not as bad as your head makes you believe.  Pretty sure you are pretty awesome and doing some pretty amazing things, but you are discrediting yourself.

I wish you to Get Out Of Your Head and Live!

 

 

Defying Writer’s Block

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The constant need to have it all figured out from the beginning; to already know the beginning, the middle and the end.  Sounds familiar?

There’s no better way to ensure an anxiety episode for wanting to control so much about the outcome from the very beginning.

So, for quite sometime now, I have been challenging my writer’s block.  When I think about it, it has a lot more to do with my constant need to have it all figured out, my sometimes unhealthy perfectionism, my high expectations on myself, and inexplicable fears than just writer’s block.  All those blockages also prevented me to explore my creativity.  So now I am allowing my writing to go wild and free, and then come back later on to give it structure.

It is truly the most difficult to get started.  But once you get started, it gets easier.  Feeling blocked in the middle of the process?  Take a break!  Why so much pressure?

I would sometimes start a blog on January 20th, take a break and finish it in May.  hahaha! We don’t always have this luxury, but I hope you get my point.

Fun fact:  this blog post wasn’t written in one flow.  I just had this title in mind and just decided to explore it!  I wrote different parts in a disorderly manner, wildly dropped my thoughts on the keyboard, and later on gave it more structure.

So, let’s get writing!  Challenge your writer’s block!  But defy it by realising that there is more to the writer’s block than you are willing to admit to yourself!

 

Comfortably Vulnerable

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Truly, being vulnerable, or allowing ourselves to be vulnerable isn’t easy.

Vulnerability by definition means: exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

However, if one aims to become more authentic, being true to ourselves, we cannot eliminate the possibility of having to put ourselves in vulnerable positions.

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and authentic requires a massive amount of bravery.

“Have unshakable faith, courage, and cheerfulness”, said my spiritual mentor.

Many people say that you have to be fearless.  I personally don’t agree.  It is possible to be afraid and show up anyway.  That’s when courage comes into play.  Whether or not we are willing to admit that we are vulnerable, we truly are vulnerable as human beings.  There are risks everyday.  Even not taking a risk is a risk.

Have unshakable faith.  Whether you believe in God, the universe, a higher source or simply yourself, have unshakable faith!  Be cheerful and look forward to the next chapters!  Easier said that done, but definitely worth it!

Without allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and allow ourselves to experience our humanness, we cannot become our most authentic self.  There is no joy in not being our most authentic self.

So, I wish for you to allow yourself to be truly you and become comfortably vulnerable.

Presence

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Presence by definition is the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present.

Just like me, I hope you had the chance to truly experience presence.  Whether is it you yourself being present in the very moment, or having a person or a spirit being present with you.  Now, I don’t mean to scare you off.  I’m talking about a positive kind of presence here.  So, what I mean by spirit is not a scary ghost, but a spirit as in angels, saints and God (as per your beliefs).

I like to describe presence as the feeling of being connected whether it is with myself or another being.  It is a state of connection as opposed to a state of feeling disconnected and lonely.

I also realised that presence has little to do with physical presence.  I have been in room full of people and still felt disconnected and lonely.  I have also been in touch with people from other sides of the globe (thank you, technology!) and felt their presence.  It has a lot to do with whether or not I am being listened to intently and feeling understood.

Today, I am really grateful to all the presence in my life.  Life becomes more meaningful and worthwhile with presence.

I hope you experience lots of presence too!

 

Befriend Your Feelings

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Listen to your feelings.

They have more to share with you than you would believe.

Don’t just hear them;

Listen intently.

They know things that you may not consciously know.

Befriend your feelings.

They are here as the messengers of your inner world.

They carry lessons and wisdom from your past memories.

Befriend your feelings.

They are your friends who are willing to help you understanding the meanings you attribute to each moment.

Befriend your feelings,

But do not allow them to lead your life.

Your feelings are your friends who are here as supports, not as the being of your existence.

Befriend your feelings,

But understand that they may not always be right.

Befriend them anyway,

for they carry lessons from the past and,

are lessons for the present and future.

Befriend your feelings,

for they are perfectly flawed just like us as humans.

 

 

 

Strong People Get Bullied Too

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Define “strong people“.

Is it because a person is perceived as strong that people think they cannot be bullied?  Last time I checked, strong is not a synonym of invincible.

Disclaimer:  I will unfortunately not be able to write about the specifics of the events because it will be too easy to identify who the bullies were.  But I hope the essence of what I will share next will help people open up about their own experience of being bullied, no matter what.

Words are powerful!  Let’s use them to create more good.

A lot of the people who cross my path tend to identify me as a strong person.  Well, what I can say is that I had a strong personality since I was a child.  But that didn’t prevent me from getting bullied several times from childhood to adulthood.

When this particular bulling story happened, I was already an adult.  A small group of individuals sharing a common interest happened to target me as the undesired member of the group (yes, I was part of the group too).  Picture this: I would be getting phone calls during which I would be shouted at and be given orders, be targetted in meetings for being the one with stupid ideas (by stupid they meant creative.  of course. hah.  WORSE! I may be the type who’s too honest during meetings.), I was contacted on all social media platform when I wouldn’t reply as quickly as they wanted to, be called from the other end of the building and be directed to “come here” with a very arrogant stand and a hand gesture that made me feel like he was calling his dog, and the list goes on…

I was bullied and reported it to the head of the institution I belonged to at the time.  Instead of helping me, they blamed me.  Saying that I provoked the bullies.  One of the heads even narrated to me her daughter’s bullying stories when she was just an adolescent.  WOW! Dismissing my pain and made it all about you helped me a lot.  Thank you very much.

As much as I studied psychology and I understand that it may have been a traumatic event for her to have experienced her daughter being bullied and may not be properly equipped to handle this situation, I was the one needing help at that moment.  I also spoke to two heads at that particular moment, not just one!  Instead of reassuring me, they made me feel even more lonely and vulnerable to attacks.  My stress level got so high at one point that my body shut down and I even had to be transported to the hospital.

It took me a while to write about it even though I meant to do it a long time ago.  My main reasons?  I wasn’t sure if speaking about it publicly would do any good.  Also, some of the people who knew about it and just stood by with pity in their eyes or simply ignoring me are still on my friend list on Facebook.  Also, my bullies had their friends add me on the latter and took screenshots of all my posts to send them.  (And I was the one without a life…? huh!)

Revisiting all these memories with more detachment now feels refreshing but it is still a very taxing process.  But I’m glad to know that I’ve healed a lot, even if not completely.

Moral of the story: strong people aren’t invincible.  They can be victimes of bullying too.  They may be able to bounce back one day, but it doesn’t mean that they do not need helping hands during difficult times.

Did my blog post trigger something in you and you want to talk about it?  I would like to offer my listening ears.  Inbox me and I will read it all and reply as soon as I can. 

We heal when we speak out our pain and suffering.

Hard Work, Detours and Growth

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I’ve been working hard….

But in the wrong direction.

When I look back, I realise that I grew a lot on a personal level and less on a professional level.

It’s a hard pill to swallow!

People outside of my motherland found a great potential in me.  The potential that they saw in me pushed me beyond borders and cross oceans (on sponsorship!).

But I came back and I didn’t feel welcomed.  I was misguided countless amount of times.  People fed my fears and doubts.  The worst part was that I let them!

It took me a good fall, a lot of cranky roads travelled, and a lot of detours to force myself back on track.

My advice?  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  I suck at asking for help!  For a very long time, my cry for help reached deaf ears, judgmental people and bullies.  I have a track record of meeting people who made me feel like I wasted my time by asking for help and made me feel worse than I originally was.  I struggle till date to admit that I sometimes need help.  As humans, we cannot make it on our own.  We need each other.  So make sure you are at least building some trusted and helpful relationships.

But my relief comes when I realise that my personal self and my professional self are both part of the same person.  It is just time to focus on the areas that I once did not have the time/opportunity for.  There might be a reason for detours too!

Cognitive Overload

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Do you ever feel like your brain is constantly buzzing, like those sirens won’t stop wailing, like there are a million voices speaking to you at the same time and have constant repetitive talks?

That’s my brain lately!

(Nerd moment…) According to a psychology theory by John Sweller called the Cognitive Load Theory, the human brain can only process a certain amount of information all at once.  It is concerned by the amount of working memory resources that we use all the time.

Well, what I’m experiencing right now is a cognitive OVERload.  Not to sound too fancy, but I like to call it “Brain Fart” (if not diarrhea at this point *smirk*).  Okay, jokes apart, during moments of cognitive overload, I feel like I can no longer process or assimilate any information anymore.  Nothing good comes out of this process.

I guess it’s time to take a dump.  Literally.  A thought/brain dump.

Most of those thoughts that are creating this overload are truly useless and/or counterproductive.  So, those are you who feel like me: I see you, I hear you and I feel you.  Now, let’s go take a dump!

Time to slow down, de-clutter and get better!  Time to get back on track.

Writing, ranting, flushing, erasing,… do whatever works for you.

I would love to hear how you deal with cognitive overload.  Please share with me! 😀

Lost.

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Ever felt like you keep failing no matter what and how much you are trying?  Like you don’t belong anywhere?  Like you haven’t found your calling?  Like the voices in your head keep working against you?  Like the fights in your head keep getting bigger and out of control?  Like you have no where to hide, not safe sanctuary?

I guess you get the picture, don’t you?

Lost (Definition):  unable to find one’s way; not knowing one’s whereabouts.

In the midst of this massive identity crisis and in trying to figure out a route in all this mess, I decided to ask endless questions instead of just looking for answers to broad questions.  Hoping that it would ease the feeling of being lost.

   Is there truly such a thing as something meant for us? 

   Are we actually born to do something specific?

   Do we always have to find meaning in everything we do?

   Is being a jack of all trade actually bad?

   Can life actually get any better?

   Can being an optimist actually be detrimental?

   Why can’t we be happy for a long period of time?

   Is it actually true that we only attract people who can love us as deeply as we love ourselves?

   Is it okay to feel lost?  More than just a few times?

If you have questions that keep popping in your head too, share it with us.  Maybe we are not as lonely in this fight as we would have thought.